I thought it would be important to share things we had learned from my dad, as well as things we learned over the last couple of weeks.
We learned a great deal about our family thanks to interactions we have had with friends and each other.
For example, my cousin Laura did one of these ancestry programs where you send in a cheek swab and the company tells you your heritage. All of us always wondered where our ancestors were from.
It turns out MONTONDO is 100% Korean.
This was a bit of a surprise, but helps explain why we like watching MASH.
We learned a lot about what other people remember about dad, and how those things are reflected in our lives.
Compassionate. That’s Kathy, no one is more compassionate then a life ling nurse.
Intelligent. Even with only an 8th grade education, dad was very smart and a good thinker, something we all see in Dan.
A great apple famer, my brother Jon continues that fine tradition.
A nice guy, well I guess that’s me.
Stubborn………must be that skips a generation.
Hard working. That’s Alice. Always working.
There were hundreds of lessons dad taught us, either directly or just by watching his example.
I guess the last lesson was this.
Time is undefeated, Newton always wins.
As much as anyone wants to hold on to their youth, you can’t slow down time. Except for Tom Brady, that guy is a freak.
And there is a reason they call them Newtons Laws, there is no way around gravity. Don’t believe me, drop a glass, or jump out of a plane, or get old and try to get out of a chair without a walker.
That’s how my dad learned physics, tying to do all the things he had always done for 90 years.
Time caught up with him, and gravity took over.
Born on Pig Lane in Pultneyville in 1926, (actually in a house… on Pig Lane) he grew up through the great depression, but never went hungry and didn’t know how poor they were.
Around 1945 he joined the army and was on a troop ship bound for the invasion of Japan when the atomic bombs were dropped. Who knows if he would have survived that.
He contracted Malaria while in the Philippines.
In the 50’s, he spent over a month in the hospital with an infection, and one night got left outside, or in a hall way in the basement of the hospital, depending on if Kathy or Dan is telling the story.
On December 26, 1978, he cut his leg with a chain saw, and could have bled to death if Myers hospital wasn’t in Sodus. 75 stitches put his leg back together
Exactly one year later, he cut his hand with the same chain saw. Not life threating, but mom made him promise never to use a chain saw in the month of December again.
He battled cancer and lived with A fib.
His death certificate will say something official sounding, but in the end, he just died from time and gravity, and a bit of stubbornness. Who knows how long he would have lasted if he has just slowed down, and remembered to use his walker all the time, but that just wasn’t him.
Through all of these things, he remained positive and upbeat. Always working hard, always willing to help out a friend or a neighbor or a complete stranger.
Not to say he wouldn’t yell at someone if he thought they needed it, but he was usually right, and after the yelling, he would encourage you and share a laugh about it.
Some people remember him as a fire chief, others as a skeet shooter
People tell me about how he was their milkman, most remember him as a skilled apple farmer.
But everyone remembers him as a good man.
I’m not sure when it started, but for at least the last few years, whenever you asked dad how things were, he would say “Everything is under control”
When he could no longer take care of his farm, he was sad, but everything was under control.
When he could no longer keep up with his yard work, we took care of it for him, and everything was under control.
When he would fall and we would race to get there before the ambulance, and he would be laying on the floor, just calmly waiting to see who got their first, everything was under control.
When he had a major subdural hematoma that squished half of his brain, everything was still under control.
The last time I talked to him, when I’m sure he knew who we were, he was glad to see us, and everything was under control.
Time and gravity win out in the end, but the more important lesson dad taught us was to make the most of the time you have.
Don’t waste it.
Work hard, do your best, help out when you can.
A fine lesson indeed
