We haven’t had much time with mom lately, she didn’t know who we were most of the time.  And when she could have a conversation with us, her mind was at a time in the past.  

But the last couple weeks, she seemed to catch up with things.  She and I had a very nice time at church a few weeks ago, but she knew dad was gone, and was sad about that.   Then she was able to talk with my brother about dad, and she seemed to feel there wasn’t anything for her to wait around here for.

The last two weeks, she’s been asleep most of the time.   Maybe a smile or nod, she seemed to have a cold, but didn’t talk to us at all.  We figured she would get better and we’d have another chance to talk to her.

Then Friday, the nursing home called, she had taken a turn and the family should come see her.   My brother and sister and I,  and her brother and sister in-law were there.  We decided to stop all of her other medicines and just keep her comfortable like we had with dad.

Mom with give us yes or no nods, but no words.

The minister from her church came to see her. He read her scriptures and prayed and sang the doxology to her.   She seemed to like that and seemed content. 

He left and the rest of us visited.  The nurse gave her some medicine to help her relax.  She was breathing ok and her heart was still strong.

I took my aunt and uncle to get some lunch, and while I was eating the cheese off a slice of frozen pizza, mom decided she had had enough.

Dad had fought for a week, not wanting to leave mom.

Mom decided, these kids are ok, it’s time for me to get to Frank.

I wrote about dad being a rabbit a few days before he died.   His mind and body had let him down, but he still fought to hang on.   We told him it was ok to go, we prayed he would pass peacefully, but he held on longer than anyone thought he would.

It hit me this week when I went to his grave to just think about him and mom being together again, that’s why he hung on,  he didn’t want to leave her alone.

And if dad was a Rabbit, mom was a Kanga, always caring for and thinking about others. And caring the most for dad.

A Rabbit until the end….

My kids call it “Rabbiting”   As in extreme gardening or other like chores performed like Rabbit from Winnie the Pooh.

Used in a sentence, “Mom,  Dad is out in the yard with a headlamp Rabbiting in the garden in the dark ….again.”

It would appear that you can base most personalities on Winnie the Pooh characters.

Some are Poohs,   some jump around like Tigger,  so are sad like Eeyore.

And some of us are Rabbits.

We make list of things to do on Saturdays in the yard and garden,  and we think of more lists while we are completing the first list.   Seeing work to be done causes us stress and we have to do it, or at least worry about it.  We pull weeds in our garden,  and our neighbors gardens,  and it parks.

Hi,  my name is Tim,  and I’m a Rabbit. 

Heidi and I were talking about my rabbitiness while driving to see my dad.   I had got a few things done on my list today,  but was thinking out loud about the rest of the list and adding to it.   Heidi kind of smiled.

I said “I’m Rabbiting again aren’t I”

“Yep’  she said.  “Seems like you come from a long line of Rabbits” 

She said this based on knowing my dad,  and hearing stories about my grandfather.   I guess it’s genetic.

Anyway,  we got to Demay, and went to my dads room.   My brother and sister had been there a while and had been working hard to keep my dad in bed.   He is kind of somewhere else,  but where ever he is, he is working.  

His arms and legs are moving,  his hand reach out to grasp things we can’t see.   He talks to fellow workers only seen by him, switching between giving orders and taking advice. 

We watch him and try to identify the jobs he is doing.   Sometimes he could be picking apples,  or thinning peaches.   He drives a tractor, we see his foot push the clutch as his hand changes gears.   He might have been trimming trees,  and he seemed to use a hand sprayer.

“What’s that”  he said to someone unseen.  He then listened intently,  acknowledged the instructions and started quickly moving his hands.   No idea what he was doing,  but it brought a smile to lips,  so that brought a smile to us.

He’s has been doing this for about 24 hours.  He has to be exhausted,  but his body keeps going and the work seems to bring him joy.  He is only upset when those of us in the room,  don’t see or understand the work he wants us to do.   He sighs,  then does it himself.

We tell him it’s ok for him to go to sleep,  we pray that he will rest.

They have given him enough medicine to relax a horse,  but he still keeps moving.

A tired body, on auto pilot,  doing what it did for years.

An old soul,  finding joy in hard work.

A full life,  trying to squeeze a little more out of it.

A Rabbit until the end.