In 1986, I was a senior in high school and Robert Fulghum published a book of essays titled for the first and most popular essay, All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten.  The essay discussed how much better our life as adults would be if we just applied the things learned in kindergarten to our adult life.

Things like sharing, taking turns, being kind to one another, all good things, and it was a hugely popular book.  I can really appreciate the concept of the book and see how it could touch and inspire people.

My problem is, I can’t remember much of what I leaned in kindergarten.

I remember there were some pretty cool blocks, and we got to take naps, but that’s about it.

First grade wasn’t much better.   I remember some traumatic events, like getting a bloody nose in a rather intense classroom production of Three Billy Goats Gruff and having an accident because someone left the stop sign on the bathroom door.

I’m sure I had to learn something in second grade, and then in third grade things went to hell, but that’s another story.

What I’m trying to say is, it was a great essay about what we should have learned in Kindergarten and how life would be better if we applied it today, I just don’t remember kindergarten.  So, I’m not sure it would help me.

Feeling sad at this realization and wondering how I will ever be successful with out the knowledge of a 5-year-old, I reflected on where else I had learned all I really needed to know. 

What had guided me in my youth, what had imparted wisdom on me, what were the experiences I could keep in my heart and then apply when struggles came my way.

After much thought it occurred to me, the answer had been there all along.

All I ever really needed to know,

 I learned from professional wrestling.

I’m sure many of you have come to the same conclusion, but I thought I would share some of these things.

For example, there are good guys and there are bad guys.   You can’t always tell them by the way they look, but you can by the way they act. 

And it’s good to cheer the good guys, and boo the bad guys, and to celebrate when the good guys win.

And some times good guys become bad guys, and bad guys become good guys.  It doesn’t always make sense, but if you pay close attention, you can see it coming.

If you get into a fight with someone, and there are introductions, and they introduce you by your name, but the other person has “THE” in their name, it’s not going to go well for you.

Like Andre “THE” Giant, THE Undertaker, Abdullah “THE” Butcher, Greg THE Hammer, THE Rock.

There will be referees, they are there to make sure everyone follows the rules, but they usually miss a lot of things, mostly things the bad guys do.

Like when you back your opponent into a corner, the ref will ask for a clean break, and you should give it.   Just know that not everyone will, and a bad guy is more likely to give you an eye poke or other cheap shot if the ref isn’t looking.

During the match, sometimes things will go your way, and sometime they won’t.   Hang in there and take you bumps and chops and high spots as best you can.   Somehow you will always get a second wind and have a big come back.   You might take a huge clothesline and lose, but you’ll be back next week.

When things are not going well, just roll out of the ring and catch your breath, but don’t get counted out.  And be careful your opponent doesn’t drag you back into the ring by your hair.

If you are about to get pinned, grab the bottom rope.  You can even just throw a leg on it, if the ref is paying attention, he’ll stop the count.  So, when you are in a fight, know where you are in the ring, and where that rope is.

There are all kinds of other matches you can find yourself in.  Ladder match, lumber jack match, table match, triple threat to name a few.  All have their own special rules, and you better know them if you’re going to have a chance.

And if you are in a ladder match, get up that ladder as fast as you can.  If you go slow, someone is coming up the other side and will throw you off.

If you have a tag team partner, do all you can to help each other.   You need to stay in the corner until you get tagged in, but if things are really bad, you can get away with helping your partner out. 

Sometimes you and your tag team partner will seem like an unbreakable pairing, and nothing can stop you.  And then one time you’ll hit your partner with a chair, completely on accident, but they won’t know it was an accident, and it will really mess up the relationship.

If there is a cake in a wrestling ring, it doesn’t matter if it’s a birthday cake, wedding cake, anniversary cakes, or congratulations cake, someone is going to get hit with that cake.  Cakes aren’t meant to be in the ring, just like some things aren’t meant to be some places, and something bad will happen when they are there.

  Sometimes you’ll be up against more then one opponent, and you might be able to fight them off for a while.  But in time, numbers win out, and you better have four friends in the back to run in and help you.

There are lots of other things I learned, and I’m sure you did too.  Maybe I’ll write a book like the kindergarten guy.  For now, just know that there are lots of ways to win or lose a match.  Count outs, DQ’s, submissions, outside interference, grabbing the best while on the top of the ladder.

At the end of the day, the best way to win, is to pin your opponent 1 2 3 in the middle of the ring and get your hand raised by the ref.

Then get out of there before someone hits you with a chair.